May 27, 2020
Today, I saw my client who always tells me I became her therapist because we do more than just discuss the “flavor of the week.”
What did she mean by this? She had previous therapists, and she would just talk about whatever happened that week … without drawing any conclusions about how to make life changes or reach any treatment goals.
Sadly, I have heard this kind of complaint from many clients over the years!
Of course, talking about your “flavor of the week” is frequently a part of therapy. However, you should not only be discussing your current flavor! It is your therapist’s job to help you understand how whatever happened in your life that week ties in with your overall therapy goals.
It is the therapist’s job to remind of what your therapy goals are, even if you are completely caught up in a “rocky road” kind of week. They should help you to see if what you are describing from your week is a step forward towards your goals or a step backward or a complete detour!
Then, they should give you some guidance and support regarding the next week. Make sense?
There are a few occasions in which a client has told me they want supportive therapy. They want to talk about their “flavor of the week” and that is enough. In these cases, I make sure that the flavor of the week kind of discussion helps the client in some way (for example, perhaps reduces anxiety symptoms or helps reduce their sense of isolation). In these situations, I have provided this type of client-centered therapy.
However, I believe that most clients want more direction, more guidance, and they want to really resolve their problems and meet certain goals. Just talking about what happened during the week with a therapist listening is not going to provide the kind of results that most people need from therapy!!!
If you are only getting a “flavor of the week” from your therapist, then you should ask them for more guidance and more direction! Then… if you still do not get it… it is time for a new therapist who is more engaged and active.
If you need more assistance from a therapist and want to speak with one of our Relationship Repair Associates, please complete this online Preregistration Form today.
May 26, 2020
One of my former clients sent me a link for a recent article in the Washington Post by Lori Gotlieb called “The surprising intimacy of online therapy sessions during the pandemic.”
The article resonated with me.
For those of you who have been doing teletherapy during the pandemic, I know you can relate!
In one session, my nine year old brought me a glass of water and it spilled all over my laptop. (You guessed it, I now have a new laptop)! My client (who is used to seeing me be professional) saw me shriek as I lunged to protect my smart phone from getting water damage also!
I have started wearing comfortable sweatshirts and yoga pants to work on a daily basis – and have ended up snacking and taking my lunch or dinner during sessions while talking with clients. They are likewise sometimes eating, snacking, or drinking coffee.
After all, many of us are juggling more these days with home-schooling children …and with staff no longer at the office to help in the same fashion with work tasks.
I have also noted that people have had therapy in a variety of locations: in closets, in their car, outside on the porch, or pretty much anywhere they can get some privacy from family members and housemates.
Part of therapy is not even about the client’s original treatment goals!!!
Treatment plans in part have changed to add the goal “surviving the anxiety and grief brought on by the pandemic.” Many clients have a need to have time in their session to discuss the anxiety and stress to include such things as: more conflict with family members, fear of death and mortality (that they suddenly feel more intensely), exploring emotions about a loved one sick with covid, and the stress of not one but two spouses out of work due to the shutdown.
For me, the most interesting part is that I can relate to my clients even more than normal. After all, this is a traumatic situation I am going through at the same time. There is shared drama and shared meaning that we are making while clients are exploring their emotions and setting goals to cope and overcome.
Of course, in most cases we are still also working on other therapy goals as well…
However, I will say that the treatment goal of building rapport with a client has been the easiest! After all, we are hanging out in our sweatshirts in whatever location brings the most privacy- sometimes with kids screaming from another room… fun times…
For those of you who have been receiving therapy during the pandemic, you know what I am talking about.
If you have been afraid to try teletherapy but desperately need it for one reason or another…. Well perhaps this post will be a gentle calling for you to give it a whirl.
To get a quote regarding the cost of therapy and to find out your options to work with one of our Relationship Repair Associates, complete our Preregistration Form today…
April 21, 2020
Our newest therapist is Mordecai Andemichael, LGPC. Although right now Mordecai sees many clients for teletherapy, he is also scheduled to see clients on Mondays 12-8 and Tuesdays 10-6 at Padder Health in Laurel. His office hours at Dr. Stephanie’s Laurel office location are Wednesday 4:00-9:00pm, Thursday 10:00am-4:00pm, Friday 11:00am-8:00pm, and Saturday 3:00-7:00pm.
Mr. Andemichael earned his Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Johns Hopkins University. He has experience working with adolescents, adults, and seniors. As a Licensed Graduate Professional Counselor, he has helped many individuals overcome depression, grief attributed to the loss of a loved one, and anxiety due to life transitions.
Mordecai also helps clients with relationship concerns under the supervision of Dr. Stephanie.
Depression and Grief
Trauma and PTSD
Addictions (including gambling, pornography, and sex addiction)
Mordecai can be contacted with questions directly at firstname.lastname@example.org
April 20, 2020
EMDR has always been done in my office … usually with my light bar or sometimes manually the old-fashioned way with my fingers waving in front of the eyes of my client. For those of you who have never heard of EMDR therapy, it is a form of prolonged exposure trauma therapy.
I love using EMDR to help reduce all kinds of symptoms and problems associated with traumatic and painful human experiences (panic attacks, insomnia, intrusive thoughts, OCD symptoms, and more…).
With the pandemic surrounding us and causing additional trauma and fear, I expect to be doing more EMDR in the coming weeks and months to help reduce various mental health symptoms. For example, there are clients whose family members have passed away from the virus. And then there are the more subtle ways that the pandemic and stay at home orders are triggering anxiety. People with past histories of trauma are having more symptoms because they feel more helpless during this time. In some cases, people may be feeling helpless to make money or to have enough time in the day to complete their work while home schooling, or in other cases to simply have a physical break from someone whom they are in a conflicted relationship with.
What I love about EMDR is that I can get results quickly, sometimes with only one or two sessions, a client’s panic symptoms can completely dissipate.
The pandemic seems to be pushing me out of my comfort zone in all kinds of ways! Besides the fact that I can’t go to the salon to get my hair colored (so I am being pushed into accepting my hair becoming increasingly gray LOL), I am also being pushed to try therapies online. I would have never thought of trying to do virtual EMDR Therapy. However, when more clients began using teletherapy to stay safe a few weeks ago, I went to my friend Google and searched “Can EMDR therapy be done virtually?”
I found that therapists have been using virtual EMDR therapy with clients in rural and remote locations via an app on the client’s smart phone, iPad, or other device.
My next step was to try out various EMDR therapy apps to figure out which one works most similarly to what I have currently been using with my clients. I found an app called EMDR Therapy for $9.99 that I think works the best. If you are interested in trying virtual EMDR Therapy, I have included a screenshot that includes what the EMDR Therapy App looks like below…
Basically, the client observes the light bar via their phone or device through the App. In addition, the client uses ear buds plugged into the phone to receive the auditory bilateral stimulation. I still guide the session and tell the client when to turn the light bar on and off to stop the processing between sets of eye movements.
On Saturday, I tried out virtual EMDR with my first client who had a panic attack and was having intrusive thoughts about an event that had occurred during the pandemic. We hit a couple of roadblocks but worked through them readily, and she felt better by the end of the session. I trust that when I see her again, she will say that her symptoms were reduced all week as a result of the therapy.
Just like everyone else, I am not happy about being at home so much. I must use my coping skills and get through the day to day! However, on a positive note, I have been pushed to learn how to better use teletherapy and my clients have become more accustomed to it. When this pandemic is over, I am happy to say I will be better prepared to be able to do teletherapy (including EMDR therapy) while traveling away from Maryland to care for loved ones or to teach workshops.
March 26, 2020
Care First Blue Cross Blue Shield put out a notice that during the Coronavirus crisis they will pay 100% for psychotherapy that is completed via teletherapy instead of at a provider’s office.
We are thankful to our many clients who have continued psychotherapy during these difficult times…You likely find that it is still beneficial to help you reach your therapy goals!
In addition, though, many people are also still doing what they can to support small businesses. For those of you who continue any needed therapy treatment over videoconference, you are helping our small business to stay afloat during this time.
However, we also aim to give you information and resources that can help you to cope with stress and feelings of depression or hopelessness…
For starters, I recommend movies for the children stuck at home guilt-free. It is the only way that I am getting this information out to you today (while my nine-year old watches Frozen 2 so that mommy can get some work done). LOL.
Hang in there, and don’t feel bad about using a little more television or movie time than usual to help everyone pass the time…
Take care until we meet again in person or online! To schedule an appointment, please go to www.therapyportal.com/p/drstephanie/
March 19, 2020
My new therapeutic motto is one day at a time… one week at a time… to help clients who are having a lot of anxiety about the virus pandemic and the future.
My advice is this: try to STOP from thinking about 4 weeks, 8 weeks, or 6 months from now. Many clients are talking about their fears about next month and into the summer and fall. It’s understandable, but you can train your brain to STOP!
No one knows how everything is going to develop. However, worrying about many things that might go wrong during the next 6-18 months and watching the news for hours a day is probably making it worse!
Keep your news intake to less than 30-60 minutes per day. Focus on what you can do today and this week to cope with your current situation. If your mind goes to more than one week into the future, STOP! Tell yourself, you will figure out the future when you get to it.
For myself, I have had moments when I start to think about the following questions: will my son be able to graduate from high school this May? Will we still be able to go on the planned vacation we had scheduled in June to celebrate two graduations? Will I be going to NYC the end of April to present Gottman Art and Science of Love? What will happen to my business next month – will we have less clients? Or, will we have more than we can handle? Will I be feeling completely stressed out if the children do not go back to school this spring at all?
And then I must STOP! I turn off my anxious amygdala with some soothing thoughts about coping for today and go back to focusing on one day at a time. You might be surprised to know that I went through a terrible crisis in 2008 and another one during 2014 and during those years, I could only just take one day at a time to get through it.
I hope you can learn to train your brain to shut off the worry by focusing on today and today only. Find your way to cope with today’s challenges… maybe you will write in your journal, read a book or watch a funny movie or television show, bake a cake, engage in meditation, play cards with a family member, take a walk or do some yoga poses in your family room…
Another future worry is that there has been some concern from our clients about insurance coverage for teletherapy [ which is done via videoconference. Research has indicated that telemedicine is also an effective form of treatment to help most clients reach their therapy goals. When you are stuck at home feeling anxious you might benefit from using this time to work on your relationship or learning how to better cope with anxiety. Some clients have a very small co-pay or even no co-pay…
Rest assured, Care First, Cigna, and many other insurance companies will pay for teletherapy that is done over video conference. If you are concerned about this, you could call member services to check on your plan; however, we frequently file claims for teletherapy and there has been no problems with getting those claims paid!
If you would like to engage in teletherapy, insurance coverage is one worry that I want to take off your mind! You can reach out to schedule an appointment by going to our easy to use scheduling link any time at www.therapyportal.com/p/drstephanie
March 18, 2020
After many conversations during the past week with clients and associates at my Relationship Repair Shop, I have been focusing on having a positive mental attitude about the effects of the Coronavirus on my household and business.
Not smooth sailing… I went from denial, to bargaining, then to anger, and now into full acceptance that social distancing and threats of contamination are actually happening! LOL.
It doesn’t feel like there is a Silver Lining to all the uncertainty, and I am sure that some families are feeling more financially and mentally stressed than others, depending upon their particular situation.
However, I am working to change my mindset and attitude that perhaps there is a silver lining?
Social Distancing doesn’t seem to include Emotional Distancing for most people. In fact, neighbors are checking in on neighbors…
And families are being forced to spend more time together at home. Our household has already found a bit more time for an additional family movie night, Uno, some extra sleep, and some household projects. Instead of running out to lacrosse games and track practice, we are spending a bit more time talking at the dinner table!
Now that some of the shock is wearing off about what is happening, I am considering what conversations we might have during this time that could help us feel closer. Perhaps we can take advantage of this additional time at home to become closer and more connected.
This reminds me of time growing up on the farm. There wasn’t as much entertainment outside of the farmhouse, so we played Sorry and Hide and Seek and went for long walks and baked cookies. That is what I am going back to during this time, and I hope you can too!
Clients are continuing to have therapeutic conversations over videoconference, and I pray that will continue. Because more emotional connection and showing more care to one another just might be one of the only Silver Linings from the effects of the coronavirus…
If you need additional help coping with stress or having therapeutic conversations with a loved one, please Register to have an appointment with one of our Relationship Repair Associates today…
March 17, 2020
In these uncertain times, our therapy practice is staying busier than ever. Our mission is to help clients find meaning and manage stress via teletherapy and in-person appointments…
We have two new therapists – Yolanda Hayden at the Laurel office and Samantha Steininger at the Owings Mills office.
Yolanda Hayden, M.S., LGPC, earned her Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. She also hold a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from Bennett College for Women in Greensboro N.C. Yolanda sees clients at the Laurel location on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 11 am – 9 pm, Friday from 9am – 4pm, and Saturday 3-6 pm.
Samantha Steinger, M.S., LGMFT earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Family Science with a minor in Human Development and her Master’s Degree in Couples and Family Therapy all from the University of Maryland. Go Terps! Samantha sees clients at the Owings Mills location on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:30 am – 1:30 pm and on Wednesdays from 1 pm – 8 pm.
March 16, 2020
We encourage you to take deep cleansing breaths as you go through the worries of this upcoming week.
All our locations in Laurel, Maple Lawn, Owings Mills, Upper Marlboro, and Annapolis are still open with videoconferencing options available for clients who are quarantined at home. Most health insurance plans will not pay for a therapy session over the phone; however, they will pay for your online video session through your computer or smart phone at home.
For clients coming into one of our locations, we have taken steps to clean and disinfect surfaces and to have hand sanitizer and paper towels available for hand washing.
I respect that each person and each family is having their own unique challenges and stressors related to the coronavirus emergency.
For example, you may be feeling more anxiety than normal due to your fears about sickness. I have successfully helped many people who have specific phobias and fears about getting flu or virus symptoms. Also, if you have an elderly or sick family member near and dear to your heart, you likely have concerns about their welfare and keeping them protected.
Some families, including some small business owners, may be experiencing more fears about their finances at this uncertain time.
Other people with children may need many deep cleansing breaths each day simply because their children are home from school for two weeks!
After more than a few cleansing breaths myself – I have decided to accept this unplanned break and roll with the punches. We are currently having a pajama morning and watching Annie! I am taking a few days off next week so I can hang out with my kids and get some spring cleaning done while everyone is at home anyway.
If you are a former or new client and need to come in for some additional stress management, please reach out for a videoconference or in-person appointment. You can easily select a therapist and a time at our easy-to-use scheduling link at www.therapyportal.com/p/drstephanie/
February 12, 2020
I recently had a client tell me that when she had a decision to make, she heard my voice in the back of her head. A reflection on a therapeutic conversation went through her mind. She made a different choice than they previous choice that she would have made!
And, good news… the new choice is leading her towards her goal!
Within myself, there was a private little party going on….
It makes me happy to hear that therapeutic conversations are taking full effect!
Sometimes it is surprising for me to find out something I said that was helpful to my client. I give a lot feedback, strategies, encouragement, comfort, and direction to my clients. I consider this seed-planting, but I do not always know which specific comment, directive, strategy, idea, or kind word might make a difference. Here are some examples of comments I made during the past week:
- “You deserve better. I hope you will ask more directly for what you need.”
- “It sounds like you asked for what you wanted but when you got some pushback, you didn’t persist. Let’s talk about what might help you to be more persistent with your requests.”
- “If you weren’t feeling helpless, it seems like you would respond with saying…”
- “You are valuable, and you deserve to feel more validated and supported.”
- “I think you are a special person. I hope you can find a way to do one hour less of caretaking and carve out one more hour of personal time.”
- “It is not your fault if your teenager acts out. Ultimately, no matter how hard you have tried as a parent your 17-year-old is still responsible for her own choices.”
These are only a few of the comments I can think of from the past week, but chances are if my voice (or the voice of whomever your therapist might be) is in the back of your head, there is a positive nugget there to hold onto during this transformational time in your life.
If you need some help and someone’s voice cheerleading and guiding you, please Register to see one of our Relationship Repair Associates today for some support and guidance.